A-Z of the Mentor process
I’ve seen it work for maybe a few hundred other people. Through interviews, through people writing me letters, through the course of the past 20 years. You can try it or not.
A) Reinvention never stops.
Every day you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.
You start from scratch.
Every label you claim you have from before is just vanity. You were a doctor? You were ivy league? You had millions? You had a family? Nobody cares.
You lost everything. You’re a zero. Don’t try to say you’re anything else.
C) You need a mentor.
Else, you’ll sink to the bottom. Someone has to show you how to move and breathe. But don’t worry about finding a mentor (see below).
D) Three types of mentors
- Direct. Someone who is in front of you who will show you how they did it. What is “it”? Wait.
By the way, mentors aren’t like that old Chinese guy in “The Karate Kid”. Ultimately most mentors will hate you.
- Indirect. Books. Movies. You can outsource 90% of mentorship to books and other materials. 200-500 books equals one good mentor. People ask me, “what is a good book to read” and I never know the answer. There’s 200-500 good books to read.
I would throw in inspirational books. Whatever are your beliefs, underline them through reading every day.
- Everything is a mentor. If you are a zero, and have passion for reinvention, then everything you look at will be a metaphor for what you want to do. The tree you see, with roots you don’t, with underground water that feeds it, is a metaphor for computer programming if you connect the dots.
And everything you look at, you will connect the dots.
E) Don’t worry if you don’t have passion for anything. You have passion for your health. Start there. Take baby steps. You don’t need a passion to succeed. Do what you do with love and success is a natural symptom.
F) Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years. Here’s a description of the five years:
Year One: you’re flailing and reading everything and just starting to DO.
Year Two: you know who you need to talk to and network with. You’re DOing every day. You finally know what the monopoly board looks like in your new endeavors.
Year Three: you’re good enough to start making money. It might not be a living yet.
Year Four: you’re making a good living
Year Five: you’re making wealth
Sometimes I get frustrated in years 1-4. I say, “why isn’t it happening yet?” and I punch the floor and hurt my hand and throw a coconut on the floor in a weird ritual. That’s ok. Just keep going. Or stop and pick a new field.
It doesn’t matter. Eventually you’re dead and then it’s hard to reinvent yourself.
G) If you do this faster or slower then you are doing something wrong. Google is a good example.
H) It’s not about the money. But money is a decent measuring stick.
When people say “it’s not about the money” they should make sure they have a different measuring stick.
“What about just doing what you love?” There will be many days where you don’t love what you are doing. If you are doing it just for love then it will take much much longer than five years.
Happiness is just a positive perception from our brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Our brain is a tool we use. It’s not who we are.
I) When can you say, “I do X!” where X is your new career?
J) When can I start doing X?
Today. If you want to paint, then today buy a canvas and paints, start buying 500 books one at a time, and start painting. If you want to write do these three things:
- Take your favorite author and type your favorite story of his word for word. Wonder to yourself why he wrote each word. He’s your mentor today.
If you want to start a business, start spec-ing out the idea for your business. Reinvention starts today. Every day.
K) How do I make money?
By year three you’ve put in 5000-7000 hours. That’s good enough to be in the top 200-300 in the world in anything. The top 200 in almost any field makes a living.
By year 3 you will know how to make money. By year 4 you will scale that up and make a living. Some people stop at year 4.
L) By year 5 you’re top 30-50 so can make wealth.
M) What is “it”? How do I know what I should do?
Whatever area you feel like reading 500 books about. Go to the bookstore and find it. If you get bored three months later go back to the bookstore.
It’s ok to get disillusioned. That’s what failure is about. Success is better than failure but the biggest lessons are found in failure.
Very important: There’s no rush. You will reinvent yourself many times in an interesting life. You will fail to reinvent many times. That’s fun also.
Many reinventions makes your life a book of stories instead of a textbook.
Some people want the story of their life to be a textbook. For better worse, mine is a book of stories.
That’s why reinvention happens every day.
N) The choices you make today will be in your biography tomorrow. Make interesting choices and you will have an interesting biography.
N1) The choices you make today will be in your biology tomorrow. (hat-tip: Claudia)
O) What if I like something obscure? Like biblical archaeology or 11th century warfare?
Repeat all of the steps above and then in year 5 you will make wealth. We have no idea how. Don’t look to find the end of the road when you are still at the very first step.
P) What if my family wants me to be an accountant?
How many years of your life did you promise your family? Ten years? Your whole life? Then wait until next life. The good thing is: you get to choose.
Choose freedom over family. Freedom over preconceptions. Freedom over government. Freedom over people-pleasing. Then you will be pleased.
Q) My mentor wants me to do it HIS way.
That’s fine. Learn HIS way. Then do it YOUR way. With respect.
Hopefully nobody has a gun to your head. Then you have to do it their way until the gun is put down.
R) My spouse is worried about who will support/take care of kids?
Then after you work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week being a janitor, use your spare time to reinvent.
Someone who is reinventing ALWAYS has spare time. Part of reinvention is collecting little bits and pieces of time and re-carving them the way you want them to be.
S) What if my friends think I’m crazy?
T) What if I want to be an astronaut?
That’s not a reinvention. That’s a specific job. If you like “outer space” there are many careers. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and started Virgin Galactic.
U) What if I like to go out drinking and partying?
Read this post again in a year.
V) What if I’m busy cheating on my husband or wife or betraying a partner?
Read this post again in two or three years when you are broke and jobless and nobody likes you.
W) What if I have no skills at all?
Read “B” again.
X) What if I have no degree or I have a useless degree? Read “B” again.
Y) What if I have to focus on paying down my debt and mortgage? Read “R” again.
Z) How come I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in?
Albert Einstein was on the outside looking in. Nobody in the establishment would even hire him.
Everyone feels like a fraud at some point. The highest form of creativity is born out of skepticism.